#include <iostream>
#include <cstdlib>
#include <string>
#include <chrono>
#include <random>
#include <functional>
using namespace std;

int main ()
{
	const string who[] {
		"My dog",
		"My neighbor's goldfish",
		"An alien",
		"Your mom",
		"A hacker",
		"A four-star general",
		"The President",
		"A random raccoon",
		"Lebron James",
		"A belligerent man at the bar",
		"The owner of a local Burger King"
	};
	const size_t nwho {size(who)};

	const string what[] {
		"ate my homework",
		"stole my laptop",
		"burned my shoes",
		"hacked my WiFi",
		"changed my password",
		"ate my pizza",
		"made me do 500 push ups",
		"cancelled my Netflix subscription",
		"threw my mattress in the garbage",
		"mixed my shampoo with baking soda",
		"tried to convince me to join a bank heist"
	};
	const size_t nwhat {size(what)};

	const string why[] {
		"because Mercury is in retrograde",
		"out of spite",
		"just to flex",
		"to teach me a lesson",
		"for a prank bro",
		"cause why not",
		"because it was Thursday",
		"to find out the meaning of life",
		"for the love of the game",
		"because life is weird",
		"while suggesting that I have something stuck in my teeth"
	};
	const size_t nwhy {size(why)};

	unsigned seed = chrono::system_clock::now().time_since_epoch().count();
	default_random_engine engine {seed};
	uniform_int_distribution<int> distribution;
	auto r {bind(distribution, engine)};

	cout << who[r() % nwho] << " " << what[r() % nwhat] << " " << why[r() % nwhy] << ".\n";
	
	return EXIT_SUCCESS;
}